Thursday, September 13, 2012

TOTAL RECALL - You wish you had three hands

Well, at least, some people probably do. They have been for a very long time. Quite possibly since men and women were invented. Because... boobs?
Well, back for another spontaneous spotting round in the almost fascinating world of the Total Recall remake. Because I just couldn't leave the woman with the three breasts alone (if you want to know why, type "Total Recall" into Google image search, I dare you). She seems to be a central feature in most reviews.

Let's see if she has sisters.

For starters, there is a saint. And the wife of a saint. Because saints have wives, in the 6th century anyway. The name is Saint Gwen Teirbron, and yes she is Welsh. Her name anyway, and it literally means "three breasts". No I am not kidding you. And yes I am Catholic. Also, she could walk on water. Thank you, I'll be here all week.

There is also a Finnish/Baltic water demon known as the Näkki. The hotness of the three breasts in questionable in this case since the demon is originally male, only turns into the more atractive form when he wants to seduce and drown someone. Sounds quite effective. 

In Sri Lanka, they tell stories of a queen/goddess/demoness (depends on how you look at it I guess) called Kuveni, who had three breasts. However, when she met her intended husband, the middle breast fell off, so I am not sure it would add to the fun.

In the town of Frascati (Italy) there is a traditional sweet called La Pupazza Frascatana. It is the shape of a woman with three breasts. According to local legend it depicts a famous milk nurse that could pacify even the most noisy baby... until they figured out she had three breasts, and the third one gave wine. Now now gentleman, there is no need to elbow each other.

Also, heads up, in the folklore of many European cultures, a woman with three breasts (or nipples) is a witch. Just sayin'.

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